


Issues

by Jacd



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon Universe, Drabble, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Mission Fic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, but the mission isnt discussed ... or relevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 08:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12165114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacd/pseuds/Jacd
Summary: So it was cramped, and they were stuck this way until the ship made it’s landing. Finn didn’t mind so much but Poe seemed to be anxious to get some space, which was causing him to snap at Finn every once in a while. Finn was getting slightly irritated, although he was trying not to let it show. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one freaked out about flying back into the clutches of the Order?Finn and Poe are stuck close together on a mission for the Resistance and Poe reveals something about himself.





	Issues

 

“Ow, Finn, that’s my foot.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“And that’s my other foot.”

“I’m not the one who suggested –”

“Yes, I’m well aware whose plan this was, thanks. Can you back up-”

“How exactly am I supposed to do that? There’s barely any room in here.”

It was generous to say barely. They were stowed away in the bowels of a First Order cargo ship, in a space that had them practically plastered together, surrounded by warm pipes that had them both sweating. A dim green hue settled around them, illuminating them both slightly. Though, Finn wasn’t sure where the light originated.

So it was cramped, and they were stuck this way until the ship made it’s landing. Finn didn’t mind so much but Poe seemed to be anxious to get some space, which was causing him to snap at Finn every once in a while. Finn was getting slightly irritated, although he was trying not to let it show. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one freaked out about flying back into the clutches of the Order?

Finn watched Poe clench and unclench his fists again. “What is up with you?”

Poe looked caught off guard from the question. His eyes widened but shuttered slightly, like he was trying to tame the emotion that came through. If Finn hadn’t already suspected something was bothering him, that would’ve caused him to start. “Nothing’s up.”

“Nothing,” Finn repeated flatly, unbelieving.

“Yes,” Poe said and gave what Finn supposed was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It was nothing like Poe’s usual charming, easy smiles.

Finn shifted back and forth on the heels of his feet, suddenly caught with the urge to reach out to Poe. To reassure him from whatever it was that was bothering him. He resisted. He wasn’t sure if Poe wanted that, wasn’t sure what was even bothering him.

He searched Poe’s eyes. “Doesn’t seem to me like nothing.”

 “Well, it is, so drop it,” Poe said harshly.

Finn ignored the sting of the words. Suppressed the flinch they caused. It was only in rare moments that he ever heard Poe speak a harsh word, and it usually wasn’t against him. He turned his eyes so he was looking away from Poe, stared at the maze of piping next to them and focused on controlling his reaction. “Fine.”

Poe shut his eyes at that, his breaths coming out in small quiet pants. He tilted his head back against the pipe and Finn couldn’t help but trace his eyes down Poe’s neck. He stopped and looked away with a blush when he realized what he was doing.

Really not the time, he reminded himself.

They air felt thick, and Finn resisted the urge to look back at Poe. It didn’t seem like Poe was going to say anything else and that proved to be true, but after a while he got his breathing back under control and broke the silence. “Sorry,” he said. Finn looked back at him. Poe looked regretful and a little embarrassed. And that was a sight, Finn rarely saw Poe embarrassed. “It’s not because of you-” obviously “- it’s just that I, uh, sometimes haven’t been doing so well in situations like this lately. Not after – um, not since before we met.”  

Since before they met?

Oh.

It wasn’t as if Finn had forgotten that Poe went through what he did, it was just that he didn’t know Poe was still so affected by it. Affected enough to be so noticeably anxious. Just like that, the atmosphere shifted. Finn softened at Poe’s confession.  Finn wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure what exactly was bothering Poe about the situation they were currently in compared to ones they’d been in together before – some pretty similar to this to think of it. Sure, this mission took them both into First Order territory, but nobody has heard or seen of Kylo Ren since Starkiller. He wouldn’t be there when they landed so surely that couldn’t be it.

“Is it the lack of space?”

Poe was quiet for a long while. Finn let him gather his thoughts. “The space is… fine. It’s not that. I don’t know.” There was a pause and Finn didn’t say anything. He could tell that Poe wasn’t finished. “Most of the time it’s like it never happened. I’m back in my ship doing what I love, you know? It’s like before. Sometimes, though, I’m reminded… or my brain just decides that today’s the day to remember and it’s – it’s like a layer over everything I do. All day, I’m remembering it. What happened and how it was so – how I felt so… just, powerless. Completely at his mercy. And he wasn’t merciful. Or maybe he was. He probably could have killed me. Most likely planned on it if it weren’t for a certain defecting Stormtrooper.” A wry smile ghosted its way onto his face. “Not sure if I thanked you for that –”

“You don’t need to,” Finn said fiercely.

“Okay,” Poe said. “But, thanks anyways. Really.”

It felt wrong somehow to accept Poe’s thanks. Finn’s motivations for helping Poe escape weren’t the purest. He had wanted to get away from the Order, and Poe was his best shot. Even a week earlier and Finn wouldn’t have done what he did, he’s sure. He sent a nod Poe’s way anyway.

Poe nodded back, his eyes soft in the dim light. He looked better, calmer, but he also looked vulnerable. Finn hadn’t ever really seen him this way. He hadn’t really ever been close enough to anyone to see them like this, to talk about something of this magnitude. It humbled him in a way, and Finn made a promise to himself in that moment. He would watch out for Poe, be there for him if he needed it. If he wanted it.

He reached across the small divide and gave into the impulse that was lingering in his mind. Poe’s hand was warm and slightly damp with sweat. Finn knew his was the same. But Poe’s hand felt good in his own. It felt right. And Finn wasn’t sure, but with the small upward tilt of Poe’s lips, the look in his eyes, and the way he gave Finn’s hand a gentle squeeze, he thought Poe might feel the same.  


End file.
